College For Idiots: Crazy Stories

So, college football games are awesome. Especially when you attend a school whose stadium is in the top ten for number of people it holds.
It was just another Saturday with a noon football game.

I’m not exactly sure who we played because as you will soon learn I had more important things to remember (it might have been Duke or Wake Forest, who knows).

My roommate and I woke up around ten and showered and changed into our school’s color. As I was finishing my hair my other roommate (the biggest bitch alive) went into the other room to get breakfast. Two seconds after she left our room I heard a horrible scream.

Apparently when she entered the living room we shared with two other girls she happened to come across roommate number three having sex with her boyfriend on our pull out sofa.

The Bitch came running into our shared room yelling about how she didn’t want to see their nasty thrusting asses. I just sat on my bed in complete shock. Now, the other problem with this was that the only way out of our apartment was the living room. Our living room was where the fucking was occurring.

I called my boyfriend to tell him we might be late and that I would explain later. The Bitch and I then headed back to the hallway and began banging on the door that led to our living room.

However, this did not stop roommate number three and her man and they continued to screw for another twenty minutes. It was a good thing they stopped too because I was about to climb out our bedroom window.
They were rather loud when they had sex. It sort of sounded like I was watching Animal Planet on surround sound.

Right when they stopped The Bitch told me I would have to enter the living room first because she had seen enough ass for that day. We made our way into the living room and out the front door.

I was pretty proud of myself because I managed to do so with my eyes closed. Sadly I could not close my ears so I had to listen to The Bitch scream about how filthy and disgusting the two of them were.

On the way over to the game The Bitch complained about how she would have to buy a new couch because black people sex was disgusting.

Apparently when her fat ass had sex with her boyfriend who had a beer gut that wasn’t disgusting at all; I would have rather seen roommate number three go at it.

For the next few weeks I was forced to always enter the apartment first to make sure no one was screwing on the pull out. Also The Bitch called her mom who called roommate number three and bitched at her. Apparently several fights occurred over the next few days. I was conveniently out, a lot.