College For Idiots: Crazy Stories

Thanks to Freshman overflow I was forced to live in the upper classmen, on campus apartments my first semester. Now most people would die to live in a place like that their freshman year and so naturally I was very excited.

Eventually thought I began to realize there were a lot of drawbacks to living in an apartment. One I was not surrounding by freshman like most kids my age were in the dorms. Instead I was living next to people I didn’t know and would never end up meeting. They were already seasoned college students and weren’t so willing to make friends.

This meant that as an out-of-state student I was at a major disadvantage because I didn’t know anyone and was having difficulty meeting people. Thankfully though I did meet a guy a month into school and we started dating. He was two years older than me so he introduced me to a lot of people.

It was also nice to have a boyfriend because that meant I would spend less time in my apartment which wasn’t the best environment. My one roommate was a major bitch who had serious race problems with one of the other girls in our place.

To make matters worse Major Bitch witnessed the girl she hated, because she was black, doing it with a guy on the sofa Major Bitch had bought. So for the next few weeks the apartment had an air of anger in it.

Three weeks later and I thought everything had blown over. I was wrong. It was Halloween weekend and there was a major concert in our basketball stadium. So, my friend from back home that went to college two hours away came up to visit.

The night was going smoothly. I introduced her to my boyfriend. She was the first of my high school friends to meet him so I was really nervous. Thankfully she liked him.

Later that night my friend and I went back to my apartment to meet up with the girls that came to my school that weekend with her. We were getting the apartment ready because they were all staying with me. So logically, we used the pull out couch.

As we were arranging the couch I noticed a strange whitish stain on it. It looked like sperm but my friend insisted it must have been applesauce. Well, the Major Bitch’s boyfriend was visiting that weekend so we called the two of them in to examine it. I mean he was a guy he would know whether or not it was sperm.

After a quick look it was agreed it was sperm. Then we unfolded the couch the rest of the way to find it stained with bodily fluids and pubic hair. Needless to say my poor friend did not sleep on the couch.

And so the situation had not blown over. Major Bitch had called her mom two weeks earlier; her mom then called the roommate who caused the sperm to be on the couch and asked her to thoroughly disinfect that couch.

She claimed that she did so, but I guess she missed the sperm and pubic hair. Now Major Bitch was majorly mad and ready to kill someone. This was going to be really really bad.