College For Idiots: Cooking

In the mood for a quick desert that tastes really good and will make everyone else think you are insanely awesome make cannoli. If you don't know what that is, it is an Italian desert.

Ingredients:
Semi-Sweet Chocolate Chips (as many as you want)
3 cups: Ricotta Cheese
1 1/4 cups: Powdered Sugar
Cannoli Shells (1 or more packages)
1 tsp: Vanilla Extract (optional)

Directions:
Mix Ricotta Cheese and Powdered Sugar together until mixture is smooth. Add as many chocolate chips as you want. Fill the pre-cooked shells with the mixture. Keep the Cannoli refrigerated.

Ta da, you have a super fancy desert now. Isn't that just wonderful? You are now a cooking genius, a savant really.

Okay so maybe you are trying to make a fancy meal to impress your parents or a girl that you want to screw. Either way here is something you can do. . .

Ingredients:
Prepackaged frozen Shrimp Scampi.
Linguini noodles.

Directions:
Boil the linguini.
Fry the shrimp.
Combine the two.
And you have a meal.

Sometimes shrimp can leave you gassy or screw with your breath among other things. So beware before you try doing the dirty with your date.

A hooker, no. Pulling out, also wrong. Cooking barbecue chicken on your George Foreman Grill, yes!

Ingredients:
98% fat free boneless chicken breasts (however many you want)
Barbecue sauce (your favorite brand)

Directions:
Remove excess fat from the chicken (if you want)
Smear barbecue sauce on chicken
Cook on George Foreman until finished

Tip: you can also place the barbecue sauce on after you grill. It makes less of a mess on the plates then.

Side Dish: Ramen noodles, or if you want to take a little more time carrots, microwaveable packets of Uncle Ben's rice, or salad.

As a college student there are a few staples in your diet that you will need.

1. A George Foreman Grill. Yes, they aren't exactly cheap but for $25 you can get one and it will make your life a lot easier. I am lazy and cheap. So, this grill or something like it makes your life a lot simpler. Instead of attempting to cook something in the oven which can take awhile you can grill it in under ten minutes.

2. A muffin tin. Muffins are a wonderful thing; especially the ones that you don't have to add anything to other than water.

3. Pam. Apparently a lot of people forget to use this when cooking. I guess they think it is fun to allow their food to stick in pans and then have their roommates clean it out for them because they are too damn lazy.

4. Lean Cuisine Pizza. Or any other small microwaveable meals. Lean Cuisine or some other type of dietary dish is best because then you don't have to worry so much about gaining millions of pounds. Frozen food tends to be rather unhealthy.

5. Pasta, ramen, rice, or anything along those lines. These are always necessaries when it comes to a college diet. They are relatively simple to make. Just remember not to add to much water because then the water can overflow. Otherwise if you don't add too much you don't really have to pay attention to what you are doing.

6. Cereal is a wonderful thing. It can work for absolutely every meal. However, you may want to try some of the healthier stuff occasionally because Trix and Coco Puffs don't really have much nutritional value.

7. Carrots. They don't rot quickly which is nice because I never remember to throw stuff out of my refrigerator. Carrots also don't produce an extremely rancid smell as quickly as certain other vegetables. Apparently zucchini will mold quickly and begin to produce a very disgusting liquid substance. This will cause your entire refrigerator to smell really really bad.

8. Peanut Butter. It goes on everything. Bagels, apples, celery, crackers, bread, cookies, and maybe on other people if you really like Peanut butter and enjoy cleaning up really nasty messes.

Alright well, that sort of gets you started. When you first start college however or live by yourself in your own place for the first time you may have to spend a little more than usual. Oh, and as a little reminder always freeze your meats they last longer. When you do freeze them however take them out of the packaging first and separate them in Ziplocs. That way you don't have to de-thaw everything which ends up ruining more of your food.